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Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Why did I.

Ok, this is kinda gonna be an emotional post. VIRGOS ARE EMOTIONAL KAYS, LIVE WITH IT.

I'm kinda confused at everything. I'm like a real life hermit. Thoughts are running through, so, the sentences might not even make a single sense, but my brain can. Imma just say how I really behave in the eyes of the public. Due to over-thinking, the public may view me as a attention seeker, wants sympathy, no life, despo for love, proud bitch. I do have those anyways, but I'm showing it more obvious now.

-opening me does have it's super bad side effects, but I'm blaming no one-

Somehow, no one can understand how I feel but I also somehow think that I can understand why and how people feel. Too much of over-thinking.. I sometimes don't feel like I exist for myself at all. Like always in others' shoes.

-all Daddy MJ's fault! Hahahhas, always saying that-

Now I face the biggest emotional shit in the entire life of mine. Relationship.. -.-
I wish I was brave enough in the past to taste how having a boyfriend is like so that now, I wouldn't care about it at all. -sigh-
Really am giving whale up 'cause the possibility is diminishing until like an atom and everything starts to be awkward because we both have to act like we don't know a thing when we both know about what we're not suppose to know and I have to continue to act like I really don't know that you know and that I know what you don't want me to really know. Yes, tongue twister, riddle me that! -I love playing with words-

Now the focus is on bear.. But I think he seems to know larh. -.- SO FREAKING OBVIOUS. If he doesn't know, I'll kill myself manz. Anyways, he's the real one that I dream to be with. A bit too despo..... Heh.
I'm actually on a lookout for him EVERYDAY IN SCHOOL. meh. :P
Can't forget the face he gave when he said Hi. I'M SO GLAD I WORE CONTACT LENS

Annnd, another thing. I always or 99% of the time type out what I think. And the way I express it is real.

hahahhahahahahs-> hehe, funny!!
HAHHAHAHHAS-> HAHHAHA, DAMN + SUPER FUNNY/HAHHAHAS, :P or just one big laugh.
(I love to laugh loudly rather than keeping it in, HAPPY MARRRH)
WTS!!!!-> WHADDASHIIIIIIIIIIT!!

So caps does mean I'm agitated or loud. Hahhas! I also use appropriate smileys to fully express my thought, message, feelings and words. So what I'm typing to you is the really my brain talking to you. Plus nowadays, in real life, my feelings are so obvious. If I sian, I'm really having the -.- face everywhere.

I really sometimes wish I can appear in a state of oblivion and run freely on lush green land. Hearing the birds chirp, the tender grass cushion every step I take, breathing in the freshest air on air. Then I'll stare at the sky and admire how beautiful nature can be. Hopefully there's a clear freshwater lake or pond nearby where I can see the sun's reflection on the crystal clear water. That would be paradise..

I miss traveling and taking photos of the nature..

People need to realise that I don't always hate on others and always willing to give second chances even when the trust is broken because there's this strong belief in me that everyone has one positive thing about them and it's just that I can't see it.
Naive? BLAME ON DADDY Hahahas.

-butifyoureallygetonmynerves, don'tblamemeformistreatingyou-

(the worst shit would be when I told you where you went wrong and I gave a obvious hint but you choose to continue your irritating nonsense!)

So,
Yeahyeah, hopefully dreams and wishes come true. Today, had a great day at the library running, dancing and racing. Then went Jcube to eat free PPL~ Hahhas, Kanghong. :D
Chatted together with Shawn and Jer(?) then lepak at the ice skating rink having heart attacks of people falling down before coming home and writing all these things down.

Only a few people know really how I feel(abouttherelationshipthingy). Giogio, Lines, Edmond, PAPA, Shinying, Charlene and Franklin. The only people I can really trust and I will protect with my life. Will not give my friendship up with them. :)

So glad I met them.

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE ALRGHT~
DADDY'S GONNA MAKE IT RIGHT FOR ME EVEN IF IT DOESN'T. Right Daddy? HAHHAAS. <3<3

Goodnight! Time for me to do running man!